While I’ve been amazed at the 100% lack of comments about how sad it is we are having another boy and will we try for a girl, I’ve been simultaneously surprised with the number of questions about our future sleeping arrangement. Friends and family seem either really concerned, fascinated/horrified in a watching-a-train-wreck sort of way, or maybe just curious about how this will all play out.
So in case anyone else is wondering what our sleeping plans are once #2 gets here (Bueller?) here they are! Overall I plan on changing nothing with B unless he seems to need/want a change. He used to sleep between me and a bed rail on the side of the bed but when we night-weaned I switched him to the middle to potentially make room for his brother.
As for why we aren’t changing things around, in short, I don’t think B is ready to make the switch to his own bed so I don’t think it’s fair to ask him to do so just because there is a baby on the way. I already night-weaned him for that reason, which made me feel guilty enough but seemed necessary for sanity, so that’s the balance I’m striking there I guess. (One can argue he needed company at night all along and that’s just who he is or one can argue we created the need by bringing him into our bed for our own convenience. Regardless of how it got there, it is most definitely a need now and he doesn’t know the difference.)
We never (intentionally) slept with B as a newborn and it still terrifies me so I also don’t plan on sleeping with this one in the bed at first. Instead I’m getting a Fisher Price Rock ‘n’ Play, which I’ve read rave reviews about, and having #2 sleep there next to our bed. (Since I make babies that don’t follow any norms or rules he will probably hate this contraption but this plan makes me feel good so I’m going with it for now.)
And from there, we will just see how it goes. If this next one sleeps as poorly as his brother, which seems statistically unlikely but possible, then he will undoubtedly end up in our bed too- on the outside in between me and the bed rail.
If he sleeps like an angel then he can stay in the Rock ‘n’ Play as long as that works and then switch to a crib or a Pack ‘n’ Play or something more suitable where he can sleep independently through the night foreeeeever. If he falls somewhere in between those two extremes, as I expect he will, then we will just see what works.
If we wind up with two kids in our bed because that’s what works best for everyone, then that’s fine. I know it won’t last forever. If B ends up sleeping with us until he’s 4 and his little brother goes to a crib at 4 months, that’s fine too. For B at least, I think we did/are doing the best thing for him and us in the end so I hope we can figure out what works for this one too. Pretty sure until we figure something out it will be fairly horrific and fun to read about if you’re not involved so at least there is that!