Omg I’m pregnant

Whether it’s due to sheer terror, being busy, or just feeling pretty good this pregnancy, I’ve mostly been in denial about having a second baby. Ok, that’s not entirely true, I cried a lot during the first trimester over ruining B’s life. Then once we found out it was a boy I got super excited for a week, and since then I’ve kind of forgotten about it.

Then something happened this past week and I suddenly feel really pregnant. It could be just the holidays and I feel fat but whatever it is it’s helping me wrap my head around things a little more and I’ve been trying to picture what it will all be like. Ever since we got home from our Christmas trip to Florida I’ve been feeling a lot more tired and achey and I swear my belly has tripled in size. It actually gets in my way now and I notice it when doing regular activities. I’m nowhere near 40 weeks level of misery yet but it’s as if all the pieces are starting to align (or the vertebrae unaligning as it were) to get me there.

40 weeks with B

40 weeks with B

My OB once told me he thinks pregnancy should only be 30 weeks, as that’s about when most women start to want to blow their brains out. I actually think it’s the greatest genius of mother nature that we have to go on another 10. No matter how scared you are or how much you don’t want to face motherhood or whatever, your overwhelming sentiment by the end is GET THIS F’ING THING OUT OF ME AT ANY COST. To put it more nicely, nature makes you really excited to meet your baby so at least I’ll have that going for me!

*A note to baby #2 here: Please please take nothing personally! I actually am beyond excited to meet you for all the right reasons, and I cry tears of joy every time I picture it, or picture you doing pretty much anything. I would have felt terrified and sure I was ruining my own life when I was pregnant with your brother, I was just too naive and stupid then.

I thought it was adorable to pose next to where the baby would sleep. Should've just had G snap a shot of me sleeping in my bed.

I thought it was adorable to pose next to where the baby would sleep. Should’ve just had G snap a shot of me sleeping in my bed.

**No really, I feel really guilty for putting this in writing even though it’s true and I’m pretty sure normal to both hate pregnancy and be afraid of another baby? (No one tell me if it’s not.) Although I did break down sobbing yesterday on the elliptical thinking about the moment my mom brings B to the hospital to meet this baby, and I snuggle with both boys and G, and finally have my complete little family I always dreamed of all together in my arms.

Elliptical pictured next to my newest baby a TREADMILL. Thank you Teresa and Rob!! (B is just completing a couple of repairs here.)

Elliptical pictured next to my newest baby a TREADMILL. Thank you Teresa and Rob!! (B is just completing a couple of repairs here.)

***Yeah I realize the baby will probably pick that moment to scream, B will want to run around the room pressing alarm buttons to call the nurses, and I’ll be soaking through my hospital gown with leaky milk, but let me dream.

****Also to state what I hope is the obvious, I am extremely super grateful to be able to get and stay pregnant and that this baby appears to be healthy so far and all that. It’s kind of like vaccines. I’m really really grateful that they exist and I wouldn’t trade getting a shot for small pox but I still don’t enjoy the prick.

11 Responses to Omg I’m pregnant

  1. I laughed out loud a ton during this post! I was TERRIFIED of Lyla joining us, and she’s pretty cool now :) And now with Poppy, I’m just completely denying anything is happening whatsoever.

  2. The whole “pregnancy should only be 30 weeks” thing makes me laugh because right after C was born the neonatal team took him as a precaution (meconium)… Anyway once I screamed to everyone repeatedly asking “is he okay?!” and they told me he was fine… I apparently looked delirious and my OB was like “Caroline, Caroline, are you okay?” and all I could say was “I thought I was going to be pregnant FOREVERRRRR”. She laughed at me! Haha! The funny thing is, I can barely remember what it felt like to be pregnant now, but I remember being pregnant and thinking “I’ve forgotten what it’s like to not be pregnant!”. Funny how that works!

    So excited for you and your new little babe!

    • I definitely thought I’d be pregnant with B forever too! No one could convince me otherwise. And then until a week or so ago I couldn’t for the life of me remember what being pregnant felt like. Nature does things to our brains!!

  3. Wait! That last pic is from this pregnancy??

    • Eeek no! I should’ve said that. That pic was 38 weeks with B. If I looked like that already I’d put myself on bed rest.

  4. I love B in the treadmill photo!

    I was terrified of #2 as well. And things just seemed so different with the second pregnancy. And besides that fact my little guy is going to have bionic ears, everything turned AOK. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. :)

  5. You are hilarious!!! I, too, am terrified! But, I think I’ve worried more with this pregnancy than I did with G. I attribute that to the fact that I now know how precious life is (which I was COMPLETELY oblivious to before becoming a mother), and I’m so terrified of the sooooo many things that can go wrong.

    I’m sure we’ll both be okay in the end though! ;)

  6. Hahaha. I’m sorry I was confused. I need to see a current photo! I’m considering getting pregnant and I love to see what’s in store.

  7. I remember lying in bed with my son crying when I was pregnant with Campbell! LOL Now, looking back, I roll my eyes at my past self, because he’s FINE and having his sister has been (mostly) a complete joy. Our family feels so much more “family” now. You’ll do great!

  8. Ha! Love this post! I said at one point though this I wish the ’4th trimester’ mess included the baby in my stomach instead of outside crying all the time!

  9. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t love Bennett as much as Cullen… but then was SO much more emotional when B was born because my heart tripled in size at that very moment. Your feelings are normal!